Dear Santa, I think we need to talk about what happened last Christmas. As you know, there was no Toyota 4Runner in my driveway on Christmas morning. I thought we had an understanding?
To say I was disappointed in not receiving the only gift I asked for is an understatement. I want to believe that it wasn’t personal, Santa. Perhaps you had budget constraints. Perhaps my 4Runner wouldn’t fit in the sleigh. Understandable.
Maybe you didn’t feel I was deserving of my wish. Maybe you felt someone else deserved it more. Unlikely. My worst fear is you gave my 4Runner to someone who didn’t appreciate it and they did something awful like painting it beige and keeping the factory tires and rims on it (shudder).
You know I‘m an exceptionally good person, Santa. I say “please” and “thank you” at appropriate times. I even say “sorry” for things I haven’t done, would never do, or that are not my fault. Sometimes I apologize for things I don’t even actually feel sorry for – temporarily terrible things that I secretly enjoyed doing, yet I say sorry because it’s the right thing to do.
Santa, I don’t even trip rude people who deserve a good face plant into a snowbank, like the hot-heads who yell at retail and food service employees in the midst of the holiday rush, despite knowing those retail workers aren’t making a living wage and are dealing with the public, which is exhausting.
There’s nothing quite like people with money to spend who then look down on those with hours to work to make rent. When was the last time you heard someone wish these workers a Merry Christmas when they collected their parcels? I say it, Santa. I do.
So, I keep wondering why my Toyota 4Runner didn’t arrive. Maybe you’re not watching me very closely. Maybe you caught me that one time this summer that my niceness was eclipsed with naughty road rage.
A man in a Rav4 passed me aggressively on a solid line on a side road, despite oncoming traffic coming over the hill. Why? Because I slowed down for pedestrians who were walking on the dirt shoulder beside my lane.
So, yeah, I honked at him and made a gesture out of my sunroof window that suggested in no uncertain terms that his driving etiquette was unnecessarily rude. And dangerous. And dumb.
I’m not proud of it, but I’m not sorry either, Santa. That man broke the law. He was reckless. And his vehicle wasn’t as cool as a 4Runner, which I didn’t say out loud but I thought it all the same.
Is this why I didn’t get my truck? Because I also maybe cursed that driver with wishes for a flat tire? Maybe a dead battery. It was just a harmless wish.
Whatever, Santa. After more than 20 years of asking for a 4Runner, I’m going to let that dream go. I want one, but I don’t need one. It’s important to differentiate needs versus wants. Like, I need a vacation and I want one, so that checks both boxes.
Besides, I walk to work now. So, you see? I’m even kind to the environment. That being said, I could use some snow pants, please. Good ones.
Thanks, big guy.
No hard feelings.
