How often do we expect perfection out of each other?
How often do we expect perfection out of ourselves? I like to think that I expect more out of myself then I do out of others, not that I think that others are not capable, but that I challenge myself to continue to grow and learn and to continue to better myself. I find I can get stuck sometimes thinking poorly about someone else because of what they did or didn’t do, then realizing too late that I had done or hadn’t done the same thing only a little while ago. How quickly we can forget our own transgressions, when expecting our friends, family and co-workers to be perfect all the time.
I am reminded of a story I heard about Mahatma Gandhi. A mother came to Gandhi telling him that her son was eating too much sugar, and that she would like Gandhi to tell her son to stop eating so much sugar. Gandhi told the mother to come back in two weeks. The mother was perplexed but listened to the instructions, she went away for two weeks, then brought her son back to Gandhi, asking again for Gandhi to tell her son to stop eating so much sugar. Gandhi looked at her son and said “Stop eating so much sugar.”
The mother thanked Gandhi but, before she left, her curiosity had got the better of her and she had to ask why Gandhi hadn’t just told her son that two weeks ago when they had come the first time. Gandhi looked at her and said, “Two weeks ago when you were here, I was still eating sugar.”
I really like this story. It doesn’t matter to me if it actually happened or not, as that is not the point of these kind of stories. When Jesus told the parable about the prodigal son, I very much doubt the first question he received was, “But who was the family?” It doesn’t matter. The point of the story is not if it actually happened.
The point is the message that the story brings. In our day and age we get so caught up in fact as history, as truth, that we forget there are many different levels of truth. Something doesn’t have to have happened for there to be truth in it.
This story about Gandhi doesn’t have to have happened for me to see the message that the story tells me. When I remember that story I am reminded that I need to be careful not to ask someone else to do something that I am not willing to do myself. Which brings me to a second story.
A disciple came riding on his donkey to the cabin of his teacher. He dismounted and walked right inside the cabin without tying up the donkey outside. He said to his teacher, trying to show his faith, “So great is my faith and trust in God, that I have left my ride outside untied. I am convinced that God protects the interests of those who follow and love God.”
“Go tie your donkey you fool!” came the reply from the teacher. “God cannot be bothered doing something for you which you are perfectly capable of doing for yourself.”
We are all teachers and students, we are lifelong learners, and givers of wisdom. We are ultimately responsible for our own spiritual well being. We need to challenge ourselves compassionately, and without judgment, and try our best to do the same with others as well.