By Rachel Hammermueller
LISTOWEL – Author Deborah Dickson’s debut children’s book Always Kiss Me Goodnight is now available at North Perth Hospice in Listowel and Heritage Funeral homes in Palmerston, Drayton and Arthur.
Dickson spoke about grief on June 13 at a book signing event in Wingham. She also spoke about hope, community, memory and strength.
Born and raised in Listowel, that’s where Dickson’s story begins.
The new author said her inspiration for writing the book is her mother Wanda Marie McLaughlin, who died due to illness at a young age.
Navigating that loss and heartbreak as a young adult and the healing journey that followed is no small feat, and Dickson wanted to share her story as a resource to children and parents should they ever have the same experience, she explained at the June 13 event.
Illustrated by her 15-year-old grandson, Ronan, the book is a raw story that allows space for the spectrum of feelings someone may experience during the loss of a loved one. It voices the hard realities, the feelings that are uncomfortable and honest.
Shannon Mercer, founder of Mental Health Matters, a non-profit volunteer organization out of Wingham, spoke at the event about the importance of talking to each other about these topics.
“This [book] is going to help educate people,” said Mercer. “And it’s going to help people talk about what’s going on in their lives.
“Sharing her [Dickson’s] story of losing someone so important to her at a young age, she shows her strength, and it will help so many people because grief is something that we all go through.”
The story includes language a child could see their thoughts and emotions reflected in – a parent could do the same.
How do you explain to a child what loss is? You give them space to ask questions, to be with people, to be loud, to be quiet, to be alone when needed, to feel. That’s what this story teaches.
Dickson spoke about a relative telling her to stop crying and get a hold of herself when she lost her mom, noting, “That was the worst thing they could have said.”
The book encourages the opposite – acknowledging one’s feelings and talking to others to heal.
“I had to accept and acknowledge my feelings and find the strength to talk about my feelings and reach out … I had to find the strength to carry on without her.”
Dickson said there aren’t enough resources out there to help parents discuss loss with a child while they are themselves navigating grief.
She noted age-appropriate language and educating others that coping and healing looks different for everyone is critical.
“I really appreciated that there was permission to have upset feelings and to grieve in your own way,” stated registered psychotherapist, certified play therapist and certified Canadian counsellor Alyson Hirtle in her review of the book.
“There were objects mentioned and past memories brought up that would help give comfort and the understanding that the child would always be connected to their mom.”
Dickson also provides a parent and teacher resource guide on her website to help facilitate difficult, essential conversations with children. There are also activities for children to complete as they move through the journey of grieving and healing.
Dickson ended her talk by dedicating her book and story to her mother.
To order the book and access the parent and teacher guide, visit neversaygoodbye.ca.
Elsewhere, the book is available the Heritage Funeral home in Palmerston, Drayton and Arthur.
To schedule readings and speaking engagements, email Deborah Dickson at authordebdickson@gmail.com.
Dickson will be speaking about her book during a Zoom session on Sept. 5 with the Seniors’ Centre for Excellence in Drayton.
