Hope is the seed that grows recovery. Hope is the cornerstone on which wellness is built.
Hope is an ideal on a pedestal, sunlit and glistening. Hope is rainbows and happiness and a life fulfilled. Hope is a platitude we give when we don’t know what else to offer. Hope is a potentially damaging concept that is in desperate need of a reimagining. Hear me out.
Hope is important. Hope is vital to recovery and well-being, I don’t deny it. What I do call into question is how “hope” has been presented. Hope has been marketed as the “light at the end of the tunnel”, the “be all end all” for those experiencing trying times and crisis. The messaging around hope is confusing. It is simultaneously an end, and a means. For those of us facing despair, hope is the goal. How do we get there? Well, you have to have hope! You see the problem.
As a person who has experienced (and gotten through) the “depths” of depression, as well as someone who has worked professionally with folks experiencing their own mental health challenges, I am well familiar with the cynicism and feeling of alienation the topic of hope can produce. It can seem a precious and trite platitude.
Hope is not always pretty. Hope can be found in rage, in disgust, in sadness, in contempt. In all sorts of feelings and thoughts that are traditionally labelled negative. Hope can be found in the notion that everyone else is better off. We know there is something better to be had. Hope can be found in questioning, “why me?” Somewhere in there, we know we deserve something better.
Hope can be found in frustration. We know something better is there, and we want it. We just need to figure out how to get there. Sometimes, contained within the misery we experience, there is hope. It is what I call “hope dirty”. It is wrapped in seemingly undesirable packaging. It is the bravest, warrior-style hope that we don’t explicitly acknowledge. So much so, that we have very little desire to unpack it, and avoid it altogether.
We designate ourselves and others as “hopeless” when that is inaccurate and potentially disastrous. I strive to challenge this sense of hopelessness by redefining it. What to do with the new found hope is the next part of the equation. Everything meaningful that I have accomplished in my life thus far came from channeling that dark place within myself. Once I shifted focus, being stubborn, angry, disillusioned and frustrated turned into something useful. Once I began to apply my self, those formerly “hopeless” states began to transform into determination, self worth, advocacy, learning, teaching, a career, a role, an identity.
If finding hope in the “muck” of our existence helps someone to move forward, we need to start getting our hands dirty.
This article was written by Angela Heeley, mental health promotion and education coordinator for the Canadian Mental Health Association of Waterloo Wellington. The “Open Mind” column is sponsored by community partners committed to raising awareness about mental health, reducing stigma and providing information about resources that can help. Contact aheeley@cmhaww.ca. For local mental health resources/information, visit www.mdsgg.ca or call 1-844-HERE247.