Good friends, good books and a sleepy conscience: this is the ideal life. ~ Mark Twain
Mark Twain understood the value of good friends and great books.
But if he is suggesting a sleepy conscience means the ability to turn off conventional ideals and open one’s mind to new opinions, then two local book clubs fit the bill.
The clubs have in common things Twain himself would appreciate: interesting books read by a diverse group of intelligent readers with gregarious personalities and varied opinions, celebrating the written word with fine wine and hors d’oeuvres.
The Page Turners became an official book club in 2008, when member Carolyn Pollock registered her reading friends as a collective to get a library book club card at the Hillsburgh library.
After all, that is where three of Pollock’s friends met for the first time to join a formal book group. This was also the moment when Pollock, Anna Froebe and Louise Day decided conventional wasn’t going to work for them.
“It just wasn’t our genre,” Froebe said.
“There was no wine, no food and the three of us decided this was not what we wanted our book club to be,”
Pollock laughed, adding they respected the structure of that initial club introduction, including how to generate dialogue around the context of books and frame the organization of a book club to benefit its members.
Five years later, the Page Turners have written their own rules for their intimate circle of nine friends, ranging in age from 46 to 66, brought together by their passion for books. Once a month they gather in their respective homes in Eden Mills, Hillsburgh, Orton, Belwood and Guelph to share ideas, opinions and laughter.
The Wellington County library card has a place of honour in the Page Turner binder, a book that allows the group to record book selections made by individual members, meeting dates and questions for discussion.
But what these readers most enjoy is their self-created overall ranking system of each book. Rating the novels on a scale of zero to five each person has an opportunity to offer their own input.
Pollock calculates the average score and it is recorded on a spreadsheet, not to guide further choices of materials, but more to acknowledge the group’s democratic participation in the monthly discussion.
“I used to read mostly historical fiction, mysteries or artist biographies,” said Ursula Bland, who joined the club a year and half ago. “But now, thanks to the club, my horizons have expanded ten-fold. I think it would be amazing if young people, instead of playing computer games, would discover the sharing of books and the friendships they inspire.”
“We are all readers, but this forces us to read books we wouldn’t usually read,” fellow Page Turner Margaret Timmins said. “It pushes you beyond your comfort zone.”
“We definitely don’t agree on everything, and I like that,” said Day, who admits she won’t recommend a book unless she has read it herself. “When someone doesn’t like a book, we don’t take it personally.”
Her fellow book club members recall some of the controversial books that have prompted some interesting discussions, such as The Shack by William P. Young, and other books that had dark subject matter, or made readers uncomfortable. There were books that the majority of the group simply did not enjoy. In this environment, everyone is safe to express herself without judgment.
“I think our friendship isn’t impacted by the books, but more the gathering that comes from a group of women,” Froebe explains.
For Timmins, some of the best conversations come from the difficult stories, because they bring out strong emotions. “I think it’s good to read heavy books,” said Timmins. “Part of the beauty of reading is to open your mind and to see things through other people’s tragedies or through someone’s eyes.”
Opening their homes, much like opening their books invites these women into personal aspects of each other’s lives, and this is where the friendship deepens. Each month, from September to June, a member from the group hosts book club in their home, to coincide with their personal book selection for the group.
“It’s really important for women in rural communities,” said Froebe. “The rural part of this book club is that we need to gather and talk about each other’s lives.” It is this connection in a disconnected world that she believes adds to the group. “We’re always able to share significant things with each other through this club that I wouldn’t share with others.”
Timmins agrees. “You’ve got to have women friends.”
“We eat, we have a glass of wine and we discuss the book,” Pollock said. “And it gives us an excuse to make a date every month to get together.”
The Friday Night Book Club, in the village of Elora, started with an impromptu invitation from Sophie Hogan, a self-employed photographer who wanted to blend quality social time around a mutual appreciation for good literature.
“The Friday Night Book Club was a slow-simmered idea,” explains Hogan. “For three summers I landscaped my very public backyard and over the course of turning my field into a garden, I bumped into so many local women who passed by and chatted while I was covered in dirt and sunscreen. This collection of women was past portrait clients, old friends, local businesswomen, moms from school and fellow artists. The idea of all of us under one roof on a monthly basis sipping wine and discussing books tempted me enough to ask them all to join.”
The eclectic group of women quickly grew to 13 members and the camaraderie was immediate. So was the induction of a formal structure, to keep the culture of the club grounded from fall until summer.
“We have created a fairly formal process, where we send [book] suggestions to Sophie, which she compiles for the group before we break for the summer,” explained Shelley Carter, of the Friday Night group.
“We usually have a discussion about the books suggested and come up with a final list. We each host on the nights when ‘our book’ is being read. It works really well,” Carter said laughing, adding, “We love to visit each other’s homes…we have a very high standard for snacks now.
“We have some young moms, some older moms, some who work in the home, some out of the home … artists, health care workers, business women, renaissance women,” said Carter. “They are all lovely, smart, funny, interesting, vital, open-minded women. I adore spending time with them.”
Betty Slack joined this club after being invited by an original member, which is part of the club’s unofficial membership policy. “I love to read and love to read books that others have found interesting or intriguing … however, that was only a small part of what enticed me to join. The group of women and the thought of once a month having an evening to enjoy the company and thoughts of these women is what truly drew me in.”
“Books are also important in that we don’t read just anything,” Carter said, noting the nature of the books are as dynamic as the women in her group.
“We definitely read books with difficult subject matter. We try to space them out, so we get a variety to discuss,” Carter explained. “We get to know each other a little more through the books that we select.”
When asked why books bring people together, Carter said, “I think it is largely hearing how different people experience the books differently. We had a book about grief that really resonated for people who had lost a significant person in our lives, and wasn’t particularly enjoyed by those who hadn’t lost someone significant. There was recognition that life experiences change how we view things.”
Slack said, “This group of women is very accepting of each other, so yes, we do discuss tough subjects sometimes, but always in a free and easy environment.”
Carter adds, “It’s like being surrounded by chosen sisters.” For her, this club is about connecting to her community.
The Friday Night Book Club makes no apologies for the social aspect of their group.
“The books are important because they bring us together, but we don’t spend the whole evening talking about the book,” Carter admits. “We’re very relaxed in the beginning … catching up on the latest news, kids, community issues, etc. Then we move to the living room and sit in a circle. We ask questions of each other, regarding the book, or give our impressions. We have used formal questions or mixed media, but generally just discussion. I think our group has found a nice balance of social time and book time.
“Over the past three years we have not only met from September to June, but we also gather for a ‘breakfast club’, support each other’s fundraisers or just get together for a martini night in February to ward off the winter blahs,” Hogan said. “I love my gals … oh and the books, too.”
It seems good books, like good friends, have the ability to enrich lives; mind, body and soul.
