It’s not just a vocation – it’s a passion.
Listening to Mount Forest residents Aletha and Bob McArthur, it’s clear the couple has a passion for helping others.
Aletha, a behaviour and special education specialist and founder of the New Growth Family Centre Inc., has years of experience working with young people.
A teacher for 26 years, both with the Wellington board and later the Upper Grand District School Board, Aletha says “I’m always drawn to the kids who are having difficulties.
“These are the ones who are unable to learn, or something is going on in their lives. It’s like a jigsaw puzzle to me. What are the pieces that need to be put together for this child to be successful?”
She explains, “Behaviour usually is the expression that there is a problem somewhere else. It’s like interpreting – to find out what is the real cause of distress.”
Citing reasons behind the startup of the centre, Aletha found that in the schools, there has to be an academic focus.
“If you’ve been in a school lately, it’s not like 25 kids sitting there waiting to be taught … there’s maybe a third. The other two-thirds don’t want to be there.”
She said “Every day we face families in various levels of need for practical, personal and immediate help to meet the needs of all ages of children and youth.
“There is a growing need in the 12 to 15 age group to support school achievement, school behaviour and school attendance. The expectation of days gone by was that a child left home in the morning to attend a local school and all their needs were met until they returned home at 4pm.
“Those days are long gone and schools are finding that they are overwhelmed with responsibility for much more than academic results.”
She said unrecognized learning problems or skill deficits usually result in avoidance and behaviour problems, which increase and peak by grade 7 or 8 and then escalate into truancy and risky behaviour in grade 9.
“Our area is identified as high risk for alcohol and drug use, domestic violence, vandalism and petty crime. But there are so many issues involved in a child’s life, that children who are under stress for any number of reasons cannot learn.”
In a traditional classroom setting, addressing those issues can be challenging.
“More and more kids are falling through the cracks. In order to get to the root of that – so the child can learn – sometimes you have to separate them.”
In 1999, Aletha conceived the idea of New Growth Family Centre Inc. and it became a registered charity in 2003. The couple’s 8,500 square foot facility with a gymnasium houses a specialized day program and an after-school program which includes recreational Sports and activities.
Aletha said some learning difficulties are caused by medically diagnosed conditions such as Attention Deficit Disorder (ADD), Fetal Alcohol Spectrum Disorder (FASD) and anxiety – which is just basically fear.
“If we look around, there are a lot of things that we look at which we are fearful of. With children it’s even more so – even watching the News, a child sees something they can not do anything about.”
People who come to the New Growth Family Centre are generally referred there because of extreme issues.
“It could be anger and aggression, running away or something similar, lack of learning, anxiety expressed through illness, not wanting to go to school, defiance – even children attacking teachers.
“Unless you’ve seen it, you can’t believe it.”
In the older generations, it was not seen as often, she said.
“In today’s society, it’s quite common, for children to assault their parents – either verbally or physically.
“My approach would be when a young person, it’s usually the parents who bring them, and describe what’s going on in their lives.”
And to do that, the first thing is to develop a relationship with that family, she said.
Next would be interpreting the behaviour and then developing strategies in a safe environment – which she says the New Growth Family Centre is.
“It’s called a therapeutic learning environment in that we deal with the emotional issues equally with the school skills. I believe that you cannot separate the emotional aspects from the learning.”
She said there are places such as mental health facilities where emotional issues are addressed but the schooling is not.
“Once they feel smart and they feel capable, there’s a change that happens, because many of these children do not feel smart,” she said.
That in turn affects behaviour. “For some it’s easier to be bad than stupid.” For others it is a way to avoid doing things, to avoid schoolwork or doing a chore at home.
But in working with young people, Aletha explained as the emotional needs are met, then they move to the other skills.
Bob added “If a child is fearful and always looking over his shoulder, he’s not going to learn. He’s not even going to open his mind to anything new.”
Move that child into a safe environment and make him calm and comfortable, and the mind just opens up like a flower, he said.
Aletha commented “Some people just look at this and assume it’s a free-for-all. The other side of the coin is that people see this as a kind of lock-up.”
There are standards to be met and there are expectations such as manners, respect and that kind of thing, she said.
“People have to be motivated. We don’t lock anybody in. It’s a choice.”
That said, “the centre provides a spot where they can feel it is their place … but they have strength around them – and that’s us.”
She said as a result of her meetings with the families, “parents often have said that they didn’t know about certain issues or how to deal with them.”
She’s heard so often that “a kid should know this, they’re 12 years old, and they should know how to do this.”
Aletha used the example of a young person about 14 age-wise, but emotionally functioning at about eight and would often come out with very off colour jokes. “In the general scheme of things the response would be stop it, or else.”
But after investigation as to where the comments were coming from, Aletha discovered the person had no real concept of the effect on the people around him.
Because of television shows that person watched, he was assuming this would be funny.
After explaining to him several times and being explicit about what that meant and how that affected people, the kid said, “I didn’t know that – I’m not going to do that again.”
As a result, he learned he could consciously stop himself.
But many people would assume at that age, he knew what he’d done and that he was doing it purposely. It’s all part of the interpretation of the behaviour – whether the individual is doing something on purpose or “does he really not get it.”
At the same time, Aletha is concerned with “a rise in alcohol effects on children. The research on the effects of alcohol on unborn children is just huge. Any amount of alcohol can affect a developing fetus at whatever stage it is at.”
Bob added there’s a saying out there “that once the mother has had a few glasses of wine and is feeling giddy, the child has passed out.”
For Aletha, success is seeing children able to re-enter the mainstream school setting.
“That is the goal. I believe that children need to be functioning in a local school at a level that is appropriate,” she said.
“Our goal is not to provide a separate program. But there are times when a child needs to come out of the school setting and be part of a program here to gain the skills and the emotional stability.
“My measure of success is when a child is functioning well at home and within the school.”
Aletha added “Early intervention is the key, as is recognition of the disability or condition.”
It is also a service very much needed in northern Wellington, she and her husband believe. Currently, the centre’s service area is primarily Wellington North and up into Grey County, Normanby Township and Southgate.
Areas to the south, such as Fergus tend to head further south for services, she said. But in much of the county, “These are rural communities so the people here do not have access, nor are there similar programs.”
Aletha added “The goal is [to] meet the needs as early as possible, for the people looking for assistance. The thing I hear so frequently is ‘I can’t get any help.’”
“The lack of nutrition can cause ADHD symptoms like poor memory, difficulty focussing, mood changes,” she said.
She noted she just started looking at the various energy drinks on the shelves of stores.
“Eight-year-olds are just chugging these,” she said, noting that one of the drinks has 140 jolts of caffeine. “They’re packing them in their lunches and parents are buying them because they think they are simply energy drinks.”
Bob said one of the projects they are working on is to provide a community awareness seminar, in conjunction with CrimeStoppers and the OPP.
“Small communities and people in communities like this need to know. If you’re not out there, it’s shocking,” he said.
A few years back, the McArthurs reached a point where they either needed to stop or expand and become more visible. They had been working out of a home office, “so having a building which is more visible” was important, Aletha said.
She stressed the New Growth Family Centre does not own the building and the centre itself is a registered charity. She said the building provides a number of opportunities, one of which was an area to present information. One such presentation was by Dr. Bryan Post, from the Post Institute.
“My thinking and teaching changed to the understanding that ‘this child cannot do something’ instead of ‘this child is just trying to get on my nerves.’”
Another of her goals is to have the involvement of young teachers in the centre. She was surprised at how little training is given in this field for new teachers.
“I thought by this time, that there would be training in behavioural needs.”
She said, “in the first year people are broken. Enthusiastic young teachers are literally broken because of the behavioural stresses which come into classrooms. For older teachers, they are discovering that what worked in the past no longer works.”
With the centre itself, the main classroom is set up for the academic program, but is also laid back and comfortable. Again, she stressed, “there are definitely expectations.”
At the same time, she is free to take whatever topic is of interest to the individual as a stepping stone to learn more about other topics.
She used the example of one young person being interested in war and weapons. Aletha was able to take that interest and apply it into areas such as science and history, “where we can really bring it into focus for them, instead of just running around with knives in their pockets wanting to attack people.”
She explained when they feel good about reading and writing, then that person can switch into other topics and the next step would be to go towards any topic.
At the centre, Sports plays a big role as well, and having a built-in gym certainly helps.
“It is a way of taking something young people are interested and using it in an academic way,” she said.
She teaches Sports, science, brain training activities and lots of math and memory games, which build general knowledge.
“Having the gym is a breakthrough. I used to have kids in my driveway playing basketball,” she said.
Part of this is teaching the kids self awareness, such as needing a physical break from an activity.
“When they start to recognize it themselves, they can relieve that pressure and get back to work. But you can’t do that in a regular school.”
Aletha noted she does family coaching as well, working with parents on how to introduce successful strategies – this would be a spot to do that as well.
One of the highlights in the centre is what the pair affectionately call the Lego room. Aletha noted one person who’d been helping out a few summers ago brought a Lego collection – tubs worth – to give to the younger kids.
The use of Lego and puzzles can capture those who may not do well with writing, but excel in this and engages their brain.
“They realize they have a skill they can grow, and they are smart,” she said. As a result, they are more willing to learn other skills, such as writing.
The centre’s space also allows for a day office, where people from out of the community can come in. Bob said one person, a professional counsellor, comes in once a week. “The families come here, rather than having to go to Fergus or another location.”
Aletha said it’s also safer because children typically don’t do well in a counselling office. “They need to be in a place where they are feeling safe and comfortable.”
She added the idea is to access people/specialists coming to the area.
Bob said they make the space quite accessible and affordable for people like that. “Anything to enhance the health and welfare of families – that is what this centre is about.” He said if someone had to pay high rent, that transfers to the client.
Included in the reading materials at the centre are copies of the Wellington Advertiser’s Inside Wellington, which has a focus on people in the community.
“I keep them all because, I really want them to appreciate the talent we have in our community,” Aletha said. “The reactions are ‘Wow, I didn’t know about this person,’ or ‘look at them.’”
“It’s the kids growing up now, if we don’t tap in and recognize these individuals and help them to grow up and become who they were meant to be …
“That to me, with the rise in all the events in the area – the shootings, the car in the swimming pool or the one who beat his head against the cell – there’s something that should have been addressed when he was 8 years old. That’s what really spurs me on.”
For more information about the New Growth Family Centre call 519-509-NGFC (6432) or check out its website at www.newgrowthfamilycentre.com.
