I was feeling a little under the weather this weekend so, I did something I need to do more. I took Me time.
I got under the blankets and snuggled up with my dog to watch mindless television from the comfort of my bed. Maybe I was sicker than I thought, because I ended up getting absorbed into one of those sappy romantic made-for-tv Christmas movies that have become a holiday tradition for many.
I had every intention of skipping this tradition.
I’m not judging anyone else’s choices because, you know, to each their own. There is a whole television channel that puts these Hallmark shows on repeat, so clearly there is a massive audience for them. Netflix has created a few gems too.
I get a kick out of my colleagues who share their obsession with these movies. Despite taking pleasure in bashing how bad the plotlines are, they will invest an entire night watching these movies. It’s like comfort food for their souls. My soul questions their logic, but the curiosity got to me. Was I missing something? Was I just being a scrooge?
Yep, I was sicker than I thought. The merry movie had me hooked by the first commercial break. I’m not proud of this admission. I couldn’t bear to turn the channel, not because this was quality entertainment, but because it wasn’t.
I had to know how it ended, despite knowing exactly how it would end two minutes into it. I loved not loving it. I am fully aware this makes no sense.
I don’t remember the title of the movie, but the plot was mind-numbingly predictable. A handsome single man lives in a quaint village, leading a charmed life, yet secretly pines for the girl that got away all those years ago.
It’s time for the village’s annual Christmas festival and he needs to book a special guest. Fate intervenes when handsome single man learns girl that got away has written a New York Times best-selling book and is on tour.
Low and behold, doesn’t he own a book shop? And wouldn’t you know it, her book is based on the sweet Christmas stories he told her about his little village back in their younger days (who knew plagiarism was romantic?).
Girl who got away arrives in town just days before Christmas to promote her book, (her career is her sole life, after all). But handsome guy is still handsome. Unrequited love is almost rekindled, except her new beau is a land developer who wants to take the little village and turn it into a tourism trap.
Will mistletoe and twinkle lights ignite a lost love, or will subdivisions and strip malls tear the town apart? Hard to guess, really. Yawn.
I found myself lamenting to my apathetic dog just how ridiculous this movie was. How come nobody in the snow scenes is ever cold, or needs a winter coat? It’s December. Where is their fog breath? Why don’t the snowflakes melt in their hair?
The real clincher for me is that, come Christmas Eve there is a crisis, the girl who got away tries to get away again, while handsome guy realizes he cannot let that happen, and a well-paced chase ends with a well-placed pothole that sidelines her escape.
And then, they kiss. One kiss. Yawn. This is the Coles Notes version. You’re welcome.
You’ll be happy to know my dog has lost all faith in me. We haven’t made eye contact since.
