Before I even begin, I would like to apologize to the big guy in the Winnipeg Jets jersey that I accidentally hit with a toilet plunger last Saturday.
And while we’re at it, I extend the same apology to the girl in the bright pink pants who became a visual target for my misguided toilet launcher at the annual Alma Optimist’s Plunger Toss last weekend.
As a newbie to the event, I would describe it as a tailgate party in the snow, only instead of watching a football game you take turns tossing toilet plungers at empty toilets in a sport that is half curling, half horse-shoes and all fun. The party is both on and off the ice.
I should declare that I am not an athlete. I am not allowed to play games that require physical skill nor am I allowed to handle objects with wooden handles (spoons, axes, paddles, etc.). So, before I even registered our team for this event, I probably should have declared that I have a visual-spatial disability and am nearsighted. Oh, and I am not competitive when I am on the team. This is due to the fact that I was always the last kid picked for team sports from kindergarten through to high school (see above). I am used to losing and I have grown to accept it.
My plunger toss team represented the Wellington Advertiser and consisted of myself, fellow reporter Kris Svela, Community News office manager Wilma Mol and our editor Chris Daponte. Dressed in our company logo on our matching toques and white shirts, which we stretched over our winter coats, we looked like a matching set of toilet paper rolls. Game on.
Picking a team name was a challenge for us writer-types. We had a list of ridiculous, even grotesque names for our team, inspired by the realization that people often read us while seated on the porcelain throne. Suggestions for team names included, “The scoop on the poop” (get it?), “Writers on the throne” and our final publicly-acceptable name of “The Welly Washers.” I won’t even go into the individual names but I was handed something that referred to being small and rhymed with “it.”
It’s funny how you can work next to people every day but when you are thrown together on a team in matching attire, holding a toilet plunger on a sheet of ice with toilets for targets, you come together as one and realize some rather interesting facts about your co-workers. For instance, I learned my co-workers really wanted to win and I was the one thing standing in their way. Well, the empty toilets and me.
So my aim was a little backed-up. My hopes were constipated by the reality of my bunged up skills. I was on a roll one game and flushing my points in the next. We may have circled the drain a few games, but we got to the first round of finals before we clogged it up. All in all, it was good clean fun. The best part of the day was the stupid grin on my face, albeit frozen there since 9am, but still, it was the smile of someone who had a great time with fun people for a good cause.
The Welly Washers can hold our plungers high knowing we “cover the county” as a news team, but at least we put the toilet seat down first.