Today's date: Saturday November 17, 2018
column width padding column width padding

The Wellington Advertiser Masthead Logo

We Cover The County...
40,052 Audited Circulation

WEEKLY POLL   |   Community News   |   EQUINE   |   Schools & Buses

Municipal 2018
column width padding column width padding

WriteOut of Her Mind

by Kelly Waterhouse

Hopeless (romantic)

I’m not one to buy into the hype of Valentine’s Day, if only because I believe romance should be spontaneous (but well-orchestrated), sincere (not fake-it-until-you-make-it) and frequent (as in often, like more than once a week).

If someone who is sincerely in love needs prompting to perform a romantic gesture on one calendar day a year, thus expecting a gold star for participation, they should probably remain single and get a lot of cats. (Note: I have two cats. My collection has started.)

I am a hopeless romantic, and by hopeless, I mean I’ve been married a long time. Oh, come now, you know I’m kidding. I’m half realist and half dreamer, so while I’d like to portray my relationship as one of passionate affection 365 days a year, the truth is the Carpenter and I are not that. I think we were once. Hold on. Nope. No, we were not. I temporarily confused my reality with a movie script.

Keeping a marriage alive takes work and separate televisions. It requires frequent communication punctuated with silences of both a comfortable and uncomfortable nature. It’s about knowing the difference between two people sitting together reading the newspaper silently to themselves, but in the same room, versus the so-cold-you-can-see-your-breath mist of air that hovers in the room after an exchange that begins and ends with the words,“Is that it too much to ask?”

Equally important is knowing (a) when to break the silence, and (b) how to break that silence. Here’s some clues: If they won’t make eye contact and seem to slam cupboard doors with the force of an angry bear, the answer to (a) is “not yet.” For (b), refrain from using phrases like “are you over it yet?” because that makes the situation explode like the gas tank on a Ford Pinto.

  Therefore, I believe the phrase “choose your words carefully” should be added to wedding vows. If I were to write mine again, I would also add “love means never having to share your chip dip,” because the whole silence situation above could have been a moot point for many awkward moments in my marriage had that rule been made abundantly clear from the get-go. Also worth noting, purchasing your wife chip dip with the ripple chips constitutes a romantic gesture. Do it. Now.

While I can’t speak for anyone else’s relationship, I would say for the Carpenter and I Valentine’s Day has never been a priority. First off, we’ve never had the financial cache to cash in. Secondly, we both tend to rebel against such traditions because we’ve always been more spur-of-the-moment types. We are the priority. Us. This thing we started. Besides, who put Valentine’s Day in the middle of flu season?

Maybe I’m a cheap date or just easily amused, but I’d settle for take-out dinner and a TV all to myself, and maybe a hot bath where nobody knocks on the door to tell me they need to use the toilet (because yes, we still only have one bathroom). In return, the Carpenter will settle for zombie shows and his own potato chips, safe in the knowledge there will be no awkward silence when he doesn’t buy me a card and roses.

And if he does? Ha, right. As if.



Vol 51 Issue 06


Tell Us What You Think

Login to submit a comment

Comments appearing on this website are the opinion of the comment writer and do not represent the opinion of the Wellington Advertiser. Comments that attack other individuals or are offensive, unsubstantiated or otherwise inappropriate will be removed. You must register or log in in order to post a comment. For more information, read our detailed Comment Policy and Guidelines.




Wellington North Guide 2018-2019


Barrie Hopkins
Barrie Hopkins
Barrie Hopkins
Barrie Hopkins
Bruce Whitestone
Ray Wiseman
Ray Wiseman
Ray Wiseman
Stephen Thorning
Stephen Thorning

Recent Columns

Bits and Pieces

  • Signature bonnet
  • Digital pantomime
  • Connect the dots
  • Generation gap
  • Little things
  • Tylenol kick
  • This Little Piggy
  • Nature's best
  • Canada's Business

  • The decline of civility
  • Irrational exuberance II
  • Speak up
  • An enduring register
  • A government assessment after one year in office
  • Gauge signals
  • Unpatriotic
  • Inevitable
  • Comment from Ottawa

  • The Syria question
  • Reflecting on 2016
  • Open, transparent combat mission?
  • Bad for businesses
  • Have your voice heard on electoral reform
  • Open and transparent?
  • Assisted dying
  • Leadership bid
  • Life-wise

  • Retirement
  • Canadas scarcity of calamity
  • Often we mirror our parents
  • Putting up with put-downs
  • A tale of two landlords
  • A letter from the campsite
  • Two shades of black
  • Precious memories
  • Queen's Park Report

  • Back to work
  • Merry Christmas
  • Remembering them
  • High-cost hydro
  • Six important issues
  • Emancipation Day
  • Great Lakes
  • Happy Canada Day
  • Special to the Advertiser

  • Death of JFK changed the world
  • Split Decision

  • Councillors voting themselves raises
  • The most interesting election races
  • Ketchup conundrum
  • Eliminating burial plots to save trees
  • Organic waste pick up in Wellington
  • Uploading Hwy. 6 Connecting Link
  • Political campaign texts
  • Cannabis legalization coming Oct. 17
  • Staying Connected

  • It’s all about staying connected.
  • Stray Casts

  • Final lines: Its been great
  • Thorning Revisited

  • John Connon remembered for photography, history book
  • Thomas Connon first honoured for library, temperance work
  • Connon struggled to earn living then left for Europe
  • Thomas Connon had tough time surviving in early Elora
  • Wightman one of last independent phone companies
  • News from the Mapleton Township area in 1901 and 1926
  • Crime and punishment - and a second Morriston robbery
  • Bank holdup created excitement in Morriston in 1931
  • Valuing Our History

  • Will of Rev. William Barrie disputed by sister
  • Connon became full-time photographer after trip to Europe
  • Hustonville founded, thrived, vanished in 20 years
  • Lack of railway siding frustrated Fergus’ James Gow
  • Fergus mill made oat flour for Cheerios, other brands
  • Railway passenger service waxed and waned over the 1900s
  • Tanner’s woolen mill in Mount Forest burned twice in a year
  • Elora principal George Edgcumbe ended his career in disgrace
  • WriteOut of Her Mind

  • Kitchen party
  • Promise
  • Forgot. Forgiven.
  • Witching hour
  • Vote
  • Soup
  • No matter what
  • iMarried
  • column width padding column width padding column width padding

    The Wellington Advertiser





    Digital Publications


    Twitter Logo

    Free Press News Network Logo